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The Magestic Splendor of Online Advertising! or some damn thing like that.

Random Whimsy: "Yes-man" Russell Farmer
by Mark Woodruff, Special to, in yet another fictious exclusive, gets to "Yes-man" Russell Farmer before all of the competition. In this special peak inside the industry, Farmer tells us what it's really like to be an icon to all other "yes-men" around the world.

AdBanter: You've been in the traditional advertising business more than 30 years now, is that correct?

Farmer: Yes, you're absolutely correct.

AdBanter: And when online advertising was born early in the '90s, your peers saw you as a pioneer in that field, is that right?

Farmer: Yes indeed. I was, without a doubt, a pioneer.

AdBanter: I assume you saw some big transformations in your industry when the Internet exploded.

Farmer: Oh, yes, yes. The changes have been absolutely enormous. Colossal. It was phenomenal what happened to advertising when the Internet exploded.

AdBanter: Can you expound on that?

Farmer: Oh, yes, I can certainly do that. Yes I can.

(long pause)

AdBanter: Um ... WOULD you please expound on that?

Farmer: That's a fabulous idea. I LOVE it. Let me take you to lunch.

AdBanter: Uh ... well, thank you, no.

Farmer: Now THAT'S a plan. (Clapping hands.) Yessir! THAT'S a helluva plan, my friend.

AdBanter: How about this ... when you compare traditional advertising--where you spent the majority of your career--with online advertising, what is your theory on the reason that the latter has experienced such a prodigiously rapid evolution?

Farmer: (nodding, huge smile, glazed eyes)

AdBanter: Can I cut off your tie with these scissors?

Farmer: Beautiful. I-luvit-I-luvit-I-LUVIT!

AdBanter: Do you think Angela Landsbury will win the MTV Battle of the Phat Fresh Rappin' DJs?

Farmer: Yes! Now you're talkin', babe! Let me take you to lunch and we'll draw up a plan. You like the Salmon Marianato at La Griglia? Maybe a little Caesar salad? It's fabulous.

AdBanter: You're just agreeing with everything I say.

Farmer: Oooh! I reeeally like it. Now THAT I like it a LOT!

AdBanter: You're a freaking idiot, aren't you?

Farmer: Yesss! Rusty Farmboy shoots from downtown ... he scores!

AdBanter: Can I have your wallet?

Farmer: Abso-tively.

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