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The Magestic Splendor of Online Advertising! or some damn thing like that.

Random Whimsy: I love Online Advertising
by former San Sabistan rebel leader Mercado "Billy" San Sabos

Editor's Note: In my travels in Cyber Space, I have found no kinder, more gentle human being than former San Sabistan rebel leader Mercado "Billy" San Sabos. Sure, he's had his run-ins with the law, but who hasn't? I think he has a beautiful soul and deserves a second chance. Since he has become an Online Advertising maven, I asked him to write a little something for Below are his comments.

Dear peoples of the Internet, no longer do I use high-profile Web sites to disguise war messages to my mountain-based guerillas of the San Sabistan rebellion. Now, all my work is regarding Internet specialty of online advertising, and this I know like the back of the hand.

Instead of reading how to build objects of war and destruction, my reading subscriptions now include Fast Companies and Wires. Rather than send a very special war message to my faithful followers of God and the San Sabistan rebellion, here instead are my keys of successfullness to online advertising. Viva San Sabis-uh, online advertising!

    Accept the truth as the way of advertisings.
    The Internet is very large. Remember this.

    Me? No, the advertisings team is most important.
    Instead of bad ad work, do good ad work,
    Daily, you must work hard.
    Never forget the value of online advertisings.
    In times of promotion, use online ads.
    Go, advertise online!
    Hear the voice within you say, "online advertisings."
    Tomorrow, online advertise even more.

    Take care of your online advertisings peoples.
    Heed requests from your banner clients.
    Evolve to try new advertisings techniques.

    Creative banners are best.
    Recognize good ad banner work.
    Openness? Why, yes.
    Will for banner quality must be strong.

    Forget past advertisings problems.
    Lies? Don't do this in your advertisings.
    Invite coworker friends always. Don't hurt their feelings.
    Every day, do good online advertisings.
    Stop time wasting.

A final thought from Mercado "Billy" San Sabos: Sometimes, when the Online Advertising day is long and hard, it is best to pack all your troubles into 15 large camouflaged trucks and head for the most southern tip of the border and wait until the moon hides behind a cloud to then scatter across six different points 20 meters apart on the western hillside near the main road. Then, you wait until dawn and relentlessly attack with passion and ferocity until your online advertising troubles lie bleeding and die like dogs.

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