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The Magestic Splendor of Online Advertising! or some damn thing like that.

Random Whimsy: Online Advertising with the Magic 8-BallTM
by Mark Woodruff, Special to

AdBanter: For decades, people around the world have turned to you for answers to significant questions such as: "Should I marry my fiancée?" "Should I sell my stock when it gets to 40?" "Should the United States invade Grenada?" You've provided millions of answers to an immense variety of questions. Let me ask you this: Do you think that online advertising has seen its peak?

Magic 8-Ball: Signs point to yes.

AdBanter: Very interesting. What about technology? What is on the horizon now that will have a huge impact to the online advertising industry?

Magic 8-Ball: It is decidedly so.

AdBanter: Excuse me?

Magic 8-Ball: Cannot predict now.

AdBanter: Ummm, O.K. How do you feel about the ongoing debate of legitimate, commercial e-mail versus Spam ... is there a difference?

Magic 8-Ball: Outlook not good.

AdBanter: What the hell kind of answer is that? Do you mean the outlook regarding whether there is a real difference between legitimate e-mail and Spam?

Magic 8-Ball: Better not tell you now.

AdBanter: (Shakes Magic 8-ball furiously.)

Magic 8-ball: Ask again later.

AdBanter: (Swears and drop-kicks Magic 8-ball over philodendron and then retrieves it from under sofa chair.)

Magic 8-ball: Reply hazy, try again.

AdBanter: OK. Let's switch gears. How about the Lotto? It's at $28 million. Should I buy a ticket?

Magic 8-Ball: Concentrate and ask again.

AdBanter: (Bashes Magic 8-ball repeatedly against granite tabletop until thick, blue fluid spills from massive crack, then crushes Magic 8-ball remains in Ronco Super Kan Krusher II™.)

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